Church Newsletter

I thought I would post the most recent letter I have written for the church newsletter. It helps reveal what has been dominating my thinking recently so here it is.

Dear friends at Lebanon,
I have decided to fill this section of each newsletter with some theological ramblings that are hopefully as helpful to you as they are therapeutic for me. (please keep reading even though I said theological) It is good for me to let the thoughts that fill my brain evacuate and fill up a sheet of paper. It is helpful for me because I can theologize things to death. What do I mean? Being a Christian, one should always keep God at the center of one’s thought. Do I do that? Absolutely not, but as one deals with tragedy and suffering it is much easier to question God and give Him time at the front and center of your mind. Needless to say, God has been spending a lot of time at the front of my mind in recent days.
I have thought a lot about who God is and what the Bible says about His character. I have thought about these things while looking at them through the lens of my life experience. You may wonder, how could a loving God do this to me? I know that is a question many of us ask. I know some of us get to the point that God’s very existence may be questionable if we are only looking at our circumstances. So what has two pregnancies and zero living babies taught me about our God? It has taught me that God is a God of supreme love that can be questioned, but probably never understood. How is God love if He won’t give my wife and I what we want so desperately? Very simple, God sees all of history at once, and God’s plan is bigger than last year. God has shown me that not only is He a God of love, but much more importantly, God is a God of redemption. It is this knowledge that gives me hope that not only is God’s promise of eternal life that is guaranteed to us through the cross and resurrection of Christ good for us, but also for unborn children. It is with this hope that God gives me great joy and hope amidst my grief and pain. It is not that God hates Alice and I, that He took our kids from us. In fact, it is only a gift of God that we were ever pregnant at all. How many people never get to enjoy the gift of loving a child of their own? I have loved my children even if we were separated by a womb. This experience of being a father has given me even more insight into what the heavenly Father’s love must be like for us. The hopes and dreams that God has for us and the desire for us to spend time together is more real to me than ever. God desires to be with us. He desires for us to love Him. More importantly, it is God’s great desire to love us. It doesn’t matter to God how good you are or whether you are happy, sad, angry, or depressed. God wants to be close to you. God wants you to be His child so bad that God even sacrificed Jesus to make it possible.
Finally, I want to thank God that He is redeeming our children’s lives. What does this mean? First of all, to think that God is somehow evil by allowing stillbirth and miscarriages to happen is beyond absurd for the Christian. Sure our human nature takes us there if we let it, but when we think about the love of God in perspective, it is then that we know that God’s children born or unborn are under God’s covenant of grace. This means that God gave our children the privilege of glory with no suffering. It is a great a gift to go straight to heaven to dwell in the glory of God without dwelling on this earth dealing with the stench of sin. God has not made me angry, bitter, or sad when I have spent time with Him. Instead God has challenged me to reveal His true nature to people so that they might also believe that God is love. This does not mean that I am not emotional. I still grieve as any parent grieves, but the grieving and the grave is only the beginning of a beautiful redemption story. Thanks be to God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit through whom all grace mercy and peace are ours.

Blessings,


Pastor Bill