It has been three months since we held our baby Joey in our arms. Our world is not what we expected. It is hard to gather motivation for tasks. It is hard to see other babies though there is a joy in it as well. In the last three months we have spent a lot of time with friends and family. I have been told I was being laid off and accepted a new job offer doing the same job with a different contractor. I currently sit here with poison ivy all over my arm and spots on my face thinking how hard it is to suffer and preach. I am really at peace with God yet lack the enthusiasm I feel should be poured into preaching. How do you remain faithful and genuine? Where is the line between authentically broken and also proclaiming truth that you have to fight to claim for yourself? Not sure there is a good answer, but find myself pondering the question. Much of sermon prep is done through tears. I just pray that in some way someone is lifted up by the voicing of my struggles. I do believe that God is in the redemption business so I pray my pain is redeemed in beauty.